uHollywood

When you spend your days writing motion picture reviews you come across both the good and the bad, and while I try my ideal to remain neutral headed when it comes to reviewing movies once every blue moon a motion picture makes me so angry I could spit. Lake Dead is one of those movies, so bad a motion picture I found it to be that 45 minutes in I just had to walk away.

Lake Dead is a fairly bland and generic horror in the same path as the Friday The 13th movies and The Hills Have Eyes, the difference being that both the aforementioned movies are actually incredibly good when compared to this “trash”. I guess I should have trusted my instincts when I noted that Lake Dead premiered in yearly horror festival After Dark Frightfest. Last year I endured all the movies from the festival and I found the best a movie about vampirism called The Hamiltons to actually be incredibly bad. This year however the first offering The Deaths Of Ian Stone from the festival despite being incredibly repetitive towered above The Hamiltons, so I decided to give Lake Dead the benefit of the doubt.

Lake Dead begins with the death of an old hotel owner, who leaves in his will his hotel to his grand-daughters all of whom had no idea he existed due to a strained relationship with their father. One of the sisters arrived and is murdered in a pretty brutal manner no sooner has the motion picture begun, leaving the other two with a gang of tramp sexually charged friends to check out the hotel.

The first sister’s death was annoying; the killers go through an elaborate situation involving metal bars, hammers and her ankles, while insuring she stays alive only to pop her into the lake. This lengthy situation, while aTiny uncomfortable had they intended to keep her alive would make perfect sense, however they never did, so the whole thing is pointless.

My annoyance progressed to new levels when they casually hacked up a guy, stuck a pick axe in a girls head attaching her to a tree, and finally as I gave up on the movie committed a fully clothed rape on another girl, rape is never a good thing but if you’re going to portray the act at least make it look real, this was more like a case of clothes rubbing at speed. It just looked ridiculous.

The acting was diabolical, camerawork was shaky, and special effects other than the opening ankle scene are awful I was looking for the tomato sauce. On top of this the storyline was so exhausted not even the incredibly trashy Troma studios would take this motion picture onboard. I can honestly state the motion picture had no redeeming features to it at all. I was always told that if you have nothing nice to state then state nothing, so I end my review rather abruptly here.